I live in upstate New York. These are my musings, interests, and comforts.
I guess your lips were the most addictive things that ever did grace mine
more killing than nicotine and alcohol running thick in blood like a knife
and I guess the THC chilled me out for a little while but I guess I was wrong on the comedown because it sure didn’t help me rest
and there’s a lot to go before I rest
I guess there were 3 hours that started it all
face to screen to screen to face
facing my worst anxieties about how the fuck did I ever end up in this place
and those three hours turned to weeks
maybe a month at least
and I guess you were scared you would hurt me
and maybe you were right but I’d never admit I was wrong, and nor would you so we just argued about my fate a bit
you told me you would be bad for me
my hand by your thighs, your lips almost on mine
but fuck it I said, I didn’t wanna believe it and I guess that’s fine
I’m a product of my destruction
spinning round
and my health reflects it always sick always sad but never mad no I’m never mad
here’s to choking on my own spit
choking down my tears
choking on how shits been these past few years
you never believed when I said I’ll be okay
not that I did for a second
but I believed that you’d be there no matter what
I guess that feeling left me as my depression started to push you away
it started as a good day but as it went on without you my thoughts came back and they asked me
“where’d you go? I missed you so, please let me ruin you again tonight”
and I blankly obliged
because that’s when I do when something takes over my life
like my addiction to you and your lips and the liquor I sip and my obsession with cigs and nicotine
because going a day without any of those is hard enough but a week’s near impossible
and I’m sorry that I don’t care about my health but I promise you one day I will
hopefully
that or I’ll be dead, and I’ll let you stay long enough to see
because these walls are built tight around me blocking all but a few people out
blocking all but a few rays of sunlight out
and when I’m dead I guess it’ll become my grave
because when I’m dead I don’t wanna be remember for what little people saw
I don’t wanna be remembered much at all
but I guess your thoughts on my mess are okay because even if for a day
you were my world and I guess that became okay
like me and my sickness
or maybe my sicknesses
I don’t know if it’s all caused by one thing or all caused by everything but they always seem to win anyway
and maybe one day I’ll find a meter to speak these words in but writings enough for now
because one day you’ll know but I don’t know how
and maybe one day I’ll write a song to accompany my thoughts
or maybe I won’t
maybe my body’ll give in too soon for me to know
because doctors scare me
I’m scared they’ll see past my indifferent fronts and weary eyes
and see that most of my words are lies
it’s not deliberate just defense
a fence put up to keep them out of inside my mind
I tell them I’m fine but I know and you know that I lie
but I never really liked saying goodbye
and all those addictions that passed my lips, your lips being the worst to quit
they were even worse to try to hide
but one day I’ll say goodbye to those too
or they’ll say goodbye to me and pass onto you
or maybe someone else I don’t know
just don’t trade your cigs for blow darling
it’d fuck you up so
I know I’m a mess and I won’t deny it
won’t hide it for I’d be lying
to you, to myself
my family thinks all is good and well
I guess all I ever wanted was affection
but I never got enough to satisfy the cravings it left me with
so I turned to my cancer sticks and shots instead
oh please please please don’t let my words get into your head because they’re better unsaid
and what I spoke of to you just left me fucking dead
but I’m still here for now
but I’ve tried to leave before
and sometimes death still glares at me like an open door but I guess I’ll be fine
that’s what you always said anyway
taylor swift has a scar on her leg from building popsicle stick houses with felt bears in them, and dropping the glue gun on herself, how could you hate her?
and the fact that her mom ordered her a pizza once and she was so excited when it came that she broke her toe
If I mispronounce your name because it is foreign to my tongue, correct me.
I don’t purposefully allow the accents of your name to fall flat on my tongue like the European English demands or the language to sound chopped and misheard.
If I don’t say your name correctly, don’t shrug and say it’s ok because people have been doing it all your life. Your mother worked hard to name you that name, with all its syllables and apostrophes and hyphens and inflection.
I don’t want to disrespect your heritage, your culture, your great grandmother or grandfather and their struggle.
If I mispronounce your name, forgive me, but don’t let it happen again. Make sure everyone knows your name.
Yes yes yes all of this. I work in pediatrics in a very diverse neighborhood and I tell the parents constantly to teach me the right pronunciation of their childrens names. Sometimes I have them say the name two or three times. Some parents think Im fucking with them and I get funny looks or attitudes but whenever they come back their kids names are said correctly
Something that has not happened in a thousand years is happening.
You are going to the City. There is only one City. It is only said
with a capital C. No one needs to bother saying the name of the City. It
is the City.
Certain members of the Council are displeased with your family’s recent actions.
A bard is providing occasional comic relief; no one hired or invited him and his method of earning a living is unclear.
The High Priest is not to be trusted.
Someone is eating an apple mockingly.
There is one body of water. It is called the Sea. The Great Sea, if you are feeling fancy.
You live in a region with no major exports, no centralized
government, no banking system, a mysteriously maintained network of
roads, and little to no job training for anyone who is not a farmer.
You have red hair. You wear it in a braid. Your father was a simple
man, and you don’t remember much about him – he died when you were so
young – but you remember his strong hands, as he fished or carpentered
or whatever it was that he used to do with them.
You’re going to have to hurry, or you’re going to miss the Fair – and you never miss the Fair.
There is trouble at the Citadel.
Your full name has at least one apostrophe in it.
It is the first page, and you are already late for something. Your
mother affectionately chides you as you gulp down a few spoonfuls of
porridge; she will be dead by page forty-two.
There are two religions in your entire universe. One is a thinly
veiled version of Islam. It is only practiced by villains. The other is
“being a Viking.” You are a Viking.
There are new ways in the land that threaten the Old Way. Your
grandmother secretly practices the Old Way, as do all of the people of
the hills.
The real trouble began the day you arrived at court. Every last
nobleman hides a viper in his smile. How you long for the purity of life
in your village, which is currently on fire or something.
Indian advertisement featuring a same sex couple by ANOUK (a contemporary ethnic clothing brand) titled Bold Is Beautiful. This is one of the first few pro-lgbt ads in the country.
Protect these actresses. Protect this brand. They are going to get so much backlash we have to protect them.
Ever have that feeling when you like someone who’s taken and they definitely like you and you both know that if they broke up with their SO and dated you that it would be wonderful because you support and comfort and just GET eachother, but you’re gonna be going to college in a year and its just not gonna happen?
oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man
A friend of ours worked in a movie theater. One night, a rowdy little boy decided to kick
over all the stands that held up the red velvet cords.
After several attempt to stop him, she finally declared, “If
you keep kicking those over, your leg will fall off!”
No sooner had she said this than she looked up and was
mortified to notice a man standing on a pair of crutches with one leg.
Before she could apologize, he looked down at the boy and
sighed, “I used to love to kick those.”
![cheshirelibrary:
“How To Tell If You Are In A High Fantasy Novel[via The Toast]
• The Elders would like a word with you.
• The Ritual is about to begin.
• Something that has not happened in a thousand years is happening.
• You are going to the City....](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7b0280316066ca0138d4e6822783c121/tumblr_nl4hk6UMad1rmidh1o1_r1_250.jpg)
